Archive for April, 2007

Don’t Make Me Rip Off Your Style, Jetset

I happen to work for a very large media company. I also happen to believe that we can make culture changes to fix the world through web enabled info-tainment. That’s why I would like to give thanks to Zadi & the crew at Jetset for featuring Episode 1 of “Lawns to Gardens” in their show, which tickles my netherbits with positive messaging and professional production. I am prouder of this than when I made Al Franken Cry!

Al Right Before He Tears Up

Seriously, there are many many of us with something to say, and now we have a way to pull it off. Funny how Al Gore didn’t invent the Internet, but he sure is helping push an important message all around it. But he didn’t go far enough with the “How to” portion of his message.

Since I work in advertising, it’s my job to help people convince themselves they need something to better their lives
from point A onward. I believe once the creative cats get hip to the fact that the planet can’t sustain our activities any longer, we’ll start to see a lot more sex used to sell the “Green Market”. Seriously. Advertising is practically porno these days anyway. We practically see blowjobs used to sell crackers.

If we want truck drivers to make behavioral changes, we must show them how to save money, get more sex, and avoid dying. It’s the easily digestible quick tidbits in web video that can make a difference in the deliverables. If we intermingle celebrity gossip with in-your-face mortality and fart jokes, we might just get the needle moving backward.

That moment will come when people realize how cool it is to STOP BUYING THINGS. At least cheaply made imports. Feel free to buy things from your local businesses, but shit…. I just bought a bike and they were ALL made in China. (Any local Portland bike manufacturers that can hook me up in the $300 – $400 range? Call me.)

So let’s crank this sucker up folks! Soon I will be revealing to you the ultimate plan for freeing ourselves from many of the challenges of global frying, oil addiction, species extinction and many more “Oh Crapola” subjects. I’m not messing with you, I wouldn’t do that. I have access to the ultimate “How To Save The World” guide that has the proof behind it, but it will take everyone’s help to pull it off.

I am in the middle of writing the book review right now, and the good news is coming soon :)

April 11, 2007 at 4:05 pm Leave a comment

Is Nature or God Kicking Us Off The Earth?

Awwwww, shit. We may have screwed up too much.

The way I see it at this point, is that we are gonna snap soon. Too many people fighting for the last slice of pizza. I wonder if we the people of earth don’t actually blow ourselves to Kingdom come, and we manage to somehow work out our differences… is there enough energy in the world to sustain life on this planet? Is there enough life left on earth to hold the people in it? Has earth already turned into hell? Man, the good part of the ride never seems to last long enough.

So as the world goes to complete shit, I want to believe that the world is basically a good place, to be used wisely by humanity, to be treasured, where people can equally rejoice in life. I want to believe that as we live together, we develop as human beings, not by forsaking the world, but by cooperating with nature and each other to preserve and perfect it, respecting the environment while we’re ecologically responsible.

I want to believe that you and I are different expressions of the same life on earth, and whatever good or bad happens to either of us happens to both of us—our well-being is linked. We are all in this together, and if you help your neighbor, you thereby help yourself.

I believe disharmony and evil are the result of ignorance and selfishness: live in harmony and goodness so as to teach others by your life as well as by your words.

But I also believe that we are all imperfect, and there are always chances to redeem your sense of self worth, and pour into a noble cause of:

1) Peace first – the world needs a time out, without Religion involved. We need to stop the shouting and make a business case for peace. Peace has to work for everyone, or it won’t work, you dig?

2) Recognition that we have way too many weapons in the hands of way too many people that have way too many problems with one another for stability or survival to work at this point. Someone’s gonna make a stupid.

3) Finding the ways we can work together to solve our differences so we can establish a power-down program. The rich need to come clean, and help contribute to the whole of society right now. Our well-being is linked, and even you will go extinct unless you start helping fix the problems of energy hoarding and violence.

So it’s coming down to the wire, folks. I’m trying to do the best I can. I’m trying to dump energy and learn ways to live with less of a footprint. But even if you buy local, ride a bike, carpool, ride a scooter, grow your own food at home, turn out the lights, unplug your appliances and insulate your house… you are still stuck.

All of society is built around energy including oil, natural gas, nuclear and other planetary wonders. I mean, this stuff has allowed us to power our society to levels never imagined. We have learned and learned and learned and we’ve been sex-hungry little monkeys and have fed and bred, and now look at us.

Holy SHIT there are a lot of the people on this planet! I mean, TONS! This place is damn full man! We’re running out of shit! OIl, it’s all the fucking way across the world man! And we NEED that stuff… is our country so fucking STUPID we can’t see that we need to switch brands to something else… like complete renewable energy?

We need to ban incandescent light bulbs! We need to institute communications programs across the entire United States right now to prepare people for the shock of their lives! This is going to be traumatic, folks! And as shitty as it gets, you had better learn to smile, because it doesn’t get better from here. In fact, many people you know and love will probably die, and so will you.

If you start acting like a good little human being from now on and do your part to help other people, no matter what their sex, social status, color, race or favorite porn site is – you had better be ready to help others when the shit hits the fan – which is right about now.

Something’s gonna give, and you had better be prepared… because the earth is starting to kill us.

April 9, 2007 at 10:08 pm 1 comment

Present Real Estate Crash Plotted As A Historical Rollercoaster


April 9, 2007 at 6:28 pm Leave a comment

Tasty Dumpster Food Is Finger Lickin’ Good.

I’m not quite to this level yet. I would be though if I was still living single with others while in college. As of right now, my wife is too entrenched with modern culture to entertain braving a dumpster.

April 4, 2007 at 4:01 pm Leave a comment

The US Government Giving Me Props? That’s Pretty Cool.

Okay okay… so the US Gvernment isn’t really giving *ME* props, but is giving the city of Portland and our entire Peak Oil Task Force props for the report I helped write regarding Portland’s response to Peak Oil. (The entire task force worked tirelessly to create the report, it took everyone’s efforts).

The US Department of Energy chatted it up in their newsletter this week, and here’s what they had to say:

GAO Report: Strategy Needed to Address Future Peak in Oil Production
The U.S. federal government is not sufficiently prepared to address the timing and consequences of a peak in global oil production, according to a new report from the Government Accountability Office (GAO). Although most studies estimate that the world’s production of oil will peak and begin to decline sometime within the next three decades, there is no coordinated federal strategy for reducing uncertainty about the peak’s timing or mitigating its consequences, says the GAO report. The report warns that an imminent peak and sharp decline in oil production could cause a global recession, while a peak that is decades away would allow time to develop better biofuels and ramp up their production. GAO recommends that DOE work with other agencies to establish a strategy to coordinate and prioritize federal agency efforts to reduce uncertainty about the likely timing of a peak and to advise Congress on how best to mitigate consequences. According to GAO, DOE and the Interior Department generally agreed with the report and its recommendations. See the abstract of the GAO report, which links to the full report.

DOE’s Energy Information Administration (EIA) most recently examined peak oil production in July 2000, and found a wide range of potential dates for the peak in oil production, ranging from 2021 to 2112, although either extreme is unlikely. Using a demand growth of 2 percent per year, and using the mean value for the amount of oil reserves, the study predicted that petroleum production will hit its peak in 2037. The study was revisited by EIA in 2004. See the article from the September 1st, 2004, edition of this newsletter.

Portland, Oregon, is one of the few U.S. cities that has attempted to address a future peak in petroleum production. The report, issued in March by Portland’s Peak Oil Task Force, urges strong and immediate action to reduce Portland’s exposure to rising fuel prices and to prepare the city for the impacts of volatile energy markets. The report recommends a combination of energy programs, social and economic support systems, and emergency plans. See the task force report (PDF 372 KB). Download Adobe Reader.

So three cheers to Portland for making strides to adapt to changing conditions. Now we need to do more than just talk about doing things and actually DO it. I can tell you first hand that a majority of business owners are still clueless as to the dire straights our economy is in without immediate preparations and changes.

Time to put it on their radar.

April 4, 2007 at 9:49 am 3 comments

The Current Establishment’s Bad Decisions Are Hurting Us All.

The Current Establishment’s Bad Decisions Are Hurting Us All. We seem to be, as a single human race, unable to settle our differences up until now. We seem to have been unable to thus far reach peace agreements allowing the people of the world to co-exist in harmony. We seem to be in a time when many feel powerless to make the systemic and cultural changes necessary to survive as a species. And as depressing as it sounds, sometimes you have to hit bottom before you can pick yourself back up. That is why as an earthbound species that expects future generations to survive, we can no longer tolerate global political corruption or warfare.

As a species who’s survival expects our children of today to be able to securely raise our children of tomorrow – we can no longer tolerate abusive practices that attempt to perversely harness or live outside the laws of nature.

As a species who’s survival is dependent on earth’s healthy ecosystems and balanced populations, we can no longer tolerate unmitigated growth and unbalanced wealth.

As a species that currently depends on oil to maintain the infrastructure used to grow and transport food, energy, and maintain vital modern living accomodations – we can no longer rely on fuels that run out in the future.

As a species who’s survival depends on a reliable supply of food, water, and shelter- we can no longer afford to operate the food and agricultural system as it operates today.

As a species who’s survival depends on cooperation among neighbors, diversified local economies, and consideration of future generations in today’s decision making – we can no longer afford to avoid this conversation.

And the conversation needs to take place, right now, peacefully, and at the world level, or we are all doomed – and you still have this life to live, all the way to the end. So I ask you to make changes needed to preserve the world and the beautiful animals that inhabit it, and that includes humans.

Whether God made us or not, it is your duty to help preserve the earth.

April 3, 2007 at 11:11 pm Leave a comment

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