Posts filed under ‘Profits’

America’s Going Out Of Business Sale

America Going Out Of Business

The recession of 2007 is in full swing, and people are calling their friends and former co-workers to line up prospective opportunities if/when they get laid off.

It’s amazing to see the networking going on right now as top level and middle managers get sweaty foreheads. I’m sure LinkedIn is active as ever and demand for Starbucks will remain steady through the beginning part of the recession. After all, people are meeting up to talk about lining up that next job.

After a while though, they will start meeting at their houses and save money by serving home-brewed coffee. Maybe dinner with the missus, and lots of ideas being traded.

That’s because no one’s job is safe anymore. The ship is crashing, and people are starting to feel it. Kinda scary, isn’t it? As John Michael Greer puts it:

“Debates about whether world petroleum production will peak before 2030 or not miss a point obvious to anybody who’s looked at the figures: world petroleum production peaked in November 2005 at some 86 million barrels of oil a day, and has been declining slowly ever since. So far the gap has been filled with tar sands, natural gas liquids, and other unconventional liquids, all of which cost more than ordinary petroleum in terms of money and energy input alike, and none of which can be produced at anything like the rate needed to supply the world’s rising energy demand. As depletion of existing oil fields accelerates, the struggle to prop up the current production plateau promises to become a losing battle against geological reality.”

Right now, people are starting to feel the big effects of peak oil and global warming. Disguised as economic hardship, it really means we are using more energy than we can drill and the cost of living will only continue to rise. Man, that just sucks.

“This is one hell of a shock to the financial system,” says Professor Tim Congdon, a leading monetarist at the London School of Economics. “A market that has taken 30 years to build has completely imploded in a matter of months. Lenders have been squeezed savagely. We’ve moved into a different era,” he said.

It will be hard work, but we can fix this place. To secure America’s safety and make sure you don’t get overwhelmed with stress, you had better listen up.

We need to work together and get smarter, pronto. We need the thinkers to come out of the woodwork and help fix this boat, because the ship is sinking fast and Americans are waking up in shock as they start to feel the cold water. Brrrrr!

If you get laid off, you should quickly learn skills in one of these areas:

– Small engine repair
– Small appliance repair
Small scale farming
Small scale alcohol fuel production
– Invention

That’s right, you need to become more inventive, right now. Think of what you offer society, or what skill you can perform. Do you have enough money to learn what you have always wanted to learn how to do? Could that new skill help you earn money in a downward economy?

There are still many opportunities to live a happy, secure life. You just need to wise up and start listening to folks who can help.

PS – If you are wealthy, consider using your wealth to improve the situation so that future generations remember your name with respect. There are some great inventions out there that can help with this mess and make you big money in the meantime.

November 28, 2007 at 5:00 pm 7 comments

Five Fast Ways to Save Your Business Money During The Recession

Save Money During 2007 Recession

Co-authors: Randy White & Cedric Justice
November 27, 2007

Financial choirs around the world are finally singing that the US is in a recession. If you operate a business, you didn’t need to wait to hear that, you already know it. It arrives every month in the form of rising bills and smaller profits. As your operational expenses keep rising, you find yourself wondering how many more payrolls you can tolerate in these financial conditions.

Here’s the good news: You can quickly trim some fat right now without cutting or gutting your employees. Here are five fast ways to save your business thousands of dollars a month during the recession:

1) SOURCE LOCALLY
Sourcing local products and services improves implicit costs, such as delays in business, transportation costs, and depending on the industry, freshness. The sustainability benefit is three-fold: economically it potentially saves your organization money; socially, it improves dollar velocity, improving the local economy. This improves the potential work pool your organization can draw from as well as the local infrastructure and ability for local customers to afford your product or service. Environmentally, it shortens supply chains, which uses less fossil fuels in transportation of goods.

TIP: Small businesses can barter with one another. Big Box stores do not have as much luxury in that department.

2) DITCH THE WASTERS
Here are three common wasters you can cut immediately:

Water coolers refrigerate your water and also heat up the water. It is a redundant system that is an expensive luxury that is unnecessary. In areas like Portland, OR, the tap water is some of the best in the country. At worst, one can buy a Brita filter and have a pitcher of cold water in the refrigerator. Hot water can be obtained through the microwave or the coffeemaker. Additionally, office water heaters are available for purchase or subscription, whereby the service of hot/cold filtered water is sold to you, and the cost of the water is usually absorbed by the building. One client was spending $130/mo on bottled water and now spends $35 for the service of the water heater/cooler (Buying one of these units is about $600 with $35 for filters that need to be changed every 9-24 months depending on the model). It has saved them time, money, resources, and real estate. Environmentally, producing plastic and shipping water in trucks makes little sense, especially when our society has plumbing as a fundamental infrastructure. Water purchased in bottles is in the dollars per gallon order of magnitude, water that runs through plumbing is in the cents (less than $0.10) per gallon cost. Additionally, it takes out the element of employee passive-agressivism prevalent in offices where employees get upset because someone didn’t change the water bottle out.

Turn off the electricity when you leave and turn down the thermostat:
“Are you trying to heat the neighborhood?” “Didn’t anyone tell you to turn the lights out when you leave the room?” These are utterances from a grandfather (that and “I walked to school uphill in the snow both ways”), but they came from a time of scarcity. Heating a room that isn’t being used, leaving on computers when no one is using them, and lighting a building with no one in it simply doesn’t make any sense. In fact, I’ve worked in a building where there was a small break room with the light on and it was locked from the outside. What’s the point of that? If you use less energy, chances are, the lease terms you have next period aren’t going to have an energy premium set on them. In fact, why not work with building management to give you a share of the savings you implement? Set policies that encourage and enable people, don’t be an authoritarian or make people feel guilty, it doesn’t work.

Get a double-side printer and use recycled paper:
Many companies have a double-sided printer, but it isn’t set to default. Have your IT staff set the printer to default to double-side printing and you can save up to half of your paper costs. If you don’t have a double-sided printer, you can also set up a second tray of leftover paper to print to the back side of drafts you’ve already used. The idea here is to default to what is least resource intensive, and have the super-white virgin paper be a premium, not a default. Recycled paper is currently more expensive than virgin paper, but that’s due to the market and to externalities. If you demand recycled paper, it will become cheaper as more demand it… economies of scale. Plus, if you’re using leftover paper scraps, you’ve cut your budget for paper by nearly 50%, so you can afford a 20-30% surcharge. Paper creation is an energy intensive process that pollutes the environment with nasty chemicals (plus, paper mills stink!). Using recycled paper cuts the emissions for these chemicals as well as energy.


3) PROMOTE ALTERNATIVE COMMUTING OPTIONS

Telecommuting may not work for everyone, but it may work for some. A lot of productivity is lost when people have to leave early to get their kids from school and it could be a cost center for them to have their kids in daycare. Besides the child angle, people who don’t commute in grinding traffic for 1-2 hours today will be much more amiable and rested when coming to work. Paying for a parking spot is about the worst thing you can do for productivity, for the environment, for reducing taxes, and for your bottom line. Instead, give your employees options: some companies are starting to give employees a transit budget. To qualify, they have to take an alternative form of transportation. The incentive pays for public transit, and if the employee bikes to work, they keep the allowance. It is a taxable expense to the company (check with your accountant before going through with it, as laws are different everywhere) in optimal situations. This reduces your carbon footprint (which, if you could track, you could sell the carbon credits), increases employee health (less stress, more exercise), and increases productivity. Additionally, goodwill is extended to your labor, which pays off in innumerable ways: employee retention, corporate knowledge, productivity gains, decreased utility costs and real estate pressures (if you only have 200 employees in the office instead of 1000, you’re probably going to need fewer desks, square footage, and heating/lighting). You may even be able to pay less because your employees won’t be saddled with the costs of commuting in time, energy, and fuel costs, they can accept a bit less. Bicycles are much cheaper than cars to maintain, and usually the cost of one car payment to buy; daycare is the cost of most one-bedroom apartments. Making your employees aware of this can create some huge gains, both for you and for them.

4) WHEN BUILDING, GO LEED (OR BEYOND)
Green buildings have been shown to increase employee productivity, reduce energy inputs, cost less to maintain, and benefit society as a whole. Mark Edlen, clearly the most progressive LEED builder in the world, says “It is up to the new generation of Portland’s business leaders to take social and environmental responsibility to the next level, and in times of uncertainty, people must show bold leadership and not be afraid to take risks that seemed easier when times were flush and there was more room for failure.”

Holistic systems tend to work when they’re thought of together, and the added costs, if any, will definitely deliver a fantastic return on investment through your decrease in risk exposure to spikes in energy prices, fuel costs, political strife in faraway lands, etc. Your employees are the most expensive part of the building per square foot. Ask your employees what you can do together to spruce up the work place while making the space greener. And make sure you measure it. Metrics are everything. If you know how much energy your cell phone charger uses by being plugged in or how much your computer uses by not being on standby, then you can make the conscious decision to unplug or turn off. But you need the data first. Consulting firms and electronic gadgets can help you with this, measuring everything from waste outputs to energy consumption to carbon emissions. Most people care, but without having any numbers, they can’t make informed decisions. Get your bean counters involved; but remember productivity is by far the most bang for your buck.

5) TAP INTO YOUR INNER LEADER
Companies who employ the golden rule and who create inspired teams or tribes have a real advantage over hierarchical, authoritarian, ‘draining’ workplaces. One of the simplest things you can do to save money is treat others well. Re-read Dale Carnegie’s “The Leader in You”. If your employees hate working for you, they’ll do everything in their power to exploit the benefits you give them. If they love their job, it will show in the work that they do, and it will show in your organization’s bottom line. People who love their job don’t call in sick as often, which means that you can depend on your teammates and that meeting you call will be fully staffed with the expert you need to make the sale. Inverting your management structure is instrumental to doing this. Managers are support staff for production people. Once that mentality is implemented, there’s a grassroots shift in how the company operates. Drama, strife, and other interpersonal relations are smoothed. Asking your employees what they want/need will help you to better meet your clients’ needs, as anyone ‘under’ you is closer to the front lines than you are.

With the arrival of Peak Oil and a fast warming climate, we are entering a hard period of time. As the dollar continues to decline in value and consumers struggle to pay their debts, it is imperative your business be stunning. Now is your time to shine, and if you adopt these five practices, you will see improvements in your bottom line, employee attitudes, and general business health.

Randy White is the founder and CEO of Bright Neighbor.
Bright Neighbor was founded on the idea of the hyper-local. What are you doing that is affecting your neighborhood or street? We measure and report on the success of community adaptation to rapid planetary changes.

Bright Neighbor is:

* A free public tool that encourages sustainability, food system security, and thriving community practices for neighborhoods by encouraging green behavior through participation, evaluation and sharing.
* A Private Layer for collecting information on green behaviors by companies, as well as a tool to communicate special initiatives, private resources and information to a
group. Like how the Portland Trail Blazers want to use it for ride sharing.
* A advertising platform that supports large businesses to participate in the same way owners of Private Layers do, but who just want to have their name attached to “something green” without all of the work.
* A platform that can, in time, collect and report information relevant to emergency services and governments.

For our customers like the City of Portland, Portland General Electric, and Gerding Edlen Development, even people who join Bright Neighbor through private layers, are Bright Neighbor users first, participating in their neighborhood, and Private Layer members second. This is done to allow the continued participation of users in their own neighborhoods as the continue to improve their hyper-local community so we can track the results. This allows Private Layer customers to take credit for “sponsoring” the good works of their members while allowing them to track the results of their organization-centric efforts.

By focusing on a specific region per Bright Neighbor, we track activity or actions and their involvement in making their hyper-local community better. Though we do the work of a non-profit, we are a for-profit eco-fixing market development company. Local businesses are served through their participation in Bright Neighbor, and they shouldn’t necessarily need to pay for it. Bright Neighbor understands the collapsing economy and how to navigate it, working within the existing financial and political system until they realize money is not going to solve their problems.

Our paying customer markets include:

* Major sports franchises and arena-owners. Interested in keeping eco-costs low and lessening their carbon footprint through ride sharing and a way of communicating large-scale green initiatives to their sporting audience, employees and guest of their facilities.
* Corporations with a green agenda (PGE). Same as above, but with the ability to get more relevant reporting to encourage shifts in corporate culture.
* Municipalities interested in uniting their city-wide neighborhood outreach.

If you are interested in sponsoring Bright Neighbor’s October 2009 launch across North America, please contact us through http://www.brightneighbor.com

November 27, 2007 at 9:13 am 14 comments

Peak Oil Exposes Home Builder / Housing Market Inefficiencies

Peak Oil is causing the rise of theft and crime

Wow. No journalists in the media currently reporting on the Home Builder industry / Housing market seem to be explaining exactly what is going on. They keep blaming it all on the same culprits, from Credit woes to energy prices. While they are correct, there is much more to the story.

As an efficiency expert, I will try and give you some deeper insight into some root causes of the housing implosion. Let’s first start out with the see-saw reporting in the media:

Here is a report from October 26th:

‘Acknowledging that there is definitely downward momentum in the market at this time, with starts, sales, prices and permits off, and problems in the subprime and Alt-A mortgage markets, NAHB Chief Economist David Seiders said that housing should nevertheless begin a modest recovery next year.’
Source: NAHB

Reality, however, keeps on rearing it’s ugly head more and more every day. This new Housing report just came off the presses:

NEW YORK – U.S. home prices fell nationwide in August for the eighth consecutive month, offering little hope of a turnaround anytime soon, according to the S&P/Case-Shiller index released Tuesday. Things could get worse, said Yale economist Robert Shiller, who helped create the index.

“There is really no positive news in today’s report,” said Shiller, chief economist for MacroMarkets LLC, which collaborates with S&P on the indicator. “At both the national and metro area levels, the fall in home prices is showing no real signs of a slowdown or turnaround.”
Source: MSNBC

Hrmmmmmmmmmmmm. Anyone know when the housing market will recover, if ever? Bueller? Bueller?

There are so many variables that are being left out of these stories, journalists obviously don’t know the whole story. Sure, they know simple facts like how America’s homes gobble up 25 percent of the world’s energy and are to thank for 19 percent of global greenhouse gas emissions.

Home Builders are following the same logic they have in the past to try and fix their present problems. Right now, one of their solutions is to fire the present line of market managers in the hopes that reorganizing the company will fix things. You know, give those eager up-and-coming managers a chance at the reigns. Perhaps the advertising campaigns will be switched up, and more special pricing packages will be created.

These fixes will only work for so long.

This slump is not just about home sales and management shuffles! It’s about operational efficiencies, or rather inefficiencies of the home builder market that need to be examined. I’m not just talking about higher efficiency Energy Star certifications on fridges, microwaves, air conditioning units, heating systems and dishwashers here. You have to dig deeper.

So, all you Home Builder management types, listen up!

I know you are losing millions of dollars to theft of new appliances in freshly built homes. I know that in all likelihood, it’s an inside swindle being pulled on you by contractors, not ordinary thieves kicking in doors or breaking windows.

I know you are paying increased security costs to try and stem the losses from having to buy the same new appliances twice.

I know you are losing sales to people foregoing their deposit to re-purchase the house at a lower price as the market value of homes drops.

I know you spend a lot of money on advertising that goes to waste.

There are, of course, many more points I can nitpick at. But if you want to stop the bleeding and start making sales again, you are going to have to start paying attention and listening to experts like me that can help you return to better profitability.

There are solutions ready to go. Here’s just one idea for you, free of charge:

When one alarm goes off in the neighborhood, or a crime occurs and a neighbor wants to report it – have an opt-in neighborhood alert system set up. Every person in your branded DR Horton, Arbor , or (insert your company name here) community can become eyes and ears.

My company is called Bright Neighbor, and we have created the all-in-one tool to help secure your profits, communities, and sanity. Our solution is affordable, and will help you save millions of dollars right away.

You can get all the info you need here.

October 30, 2007 at 2:36 pm 1 comment

It’s a Fact: Alcohol Fuel Can Help Offset Peak Oil

Ethanol VS Oil

Ok folks… here it is, the ultimate truth. There are people coming out right now saying that biofuels can’t offset the dangers of Peak Oil and I call BS. Lies Lies Lies to keep oil going as long as possible, and we don’t have time to mess around anymore – there is a real danger to America without smart solutions getting implemented right now. Take a look at this video of David Blume educating local news man Wayne Garcia.

Quite the brave newscaster to allow the truth to come out in the mainstream media! Expect the nay-sayers to try and convince you that we can’t overcome our challenges. See for yourself how we can do it and get Alcohol Can Be A Gas!

If you want to stop whining about rising gas prices, pick up your copy of “Alcohol Can Be A Gas” by clicking here.

October 5, 2007 at 10:15 pm 8 comments

The Ultimate “Save The World” Web Application

Eco Green Consumer Behavior Stubborn

Newsflash: The new money is in weapons systems and saving the planet. So, how do we get everyone to become a Volvo-humper with such a dichotomy of profit making methods?

Aside from all the Greenwashing that takes place with companies jockeying to be a darker shade of green, there are true ways for organizations to become sustainable if they have the desire.

Through the help of organizations such as Natural Step, Green Mind, and Good Company, any business or organization can learn the skills needed to do sustainable business on a dying planet. And there are tons upon tons of “Eco” websites and magazines on the web with all sorts of cool tips on how to live a greener lifestyle.

Here’s the biggest problem: People with purchasing power still don’t WANT to change, or haven’t felt the pain enough to be FORCED to change their living or business habits.

We can still breathe air, and cancer doesn’t make itself known right away.
We can throw stuff in the trash, and it still gets taken to a magic trash land.
We can still fill our vehicles with fuel – whether it’s gas, ethanol, or biodiesel.

But, while all the modern conveniences are still within reach, there are millions of eco-heads screaming that unless we change, the end is nigh. Yawn. That kind of messaging is too depressing for the majority of people. It’s too complex for people to go from A to B as consumers, unless they have an easy-to-use tool to help facilitate behavior change.

I guess this is where, on October 2, 2007, I announce that I have designed the ultimate save-the-planet application. Now hear me out. It has an amazing set of features, employs a fun way to change behavior, and helps everyone make money while helping save themselves and future generations of humans. Beyond such a bold and vague statement of what it does, I can’t get too detailed because the secret is in the sauce, know what I mean?

I shit you not. Facebook and Google will be kicking down the door to copy (Name of secret application) or buy it from me outright. It truly is the coolest web application in the world. Upon launch will make any investor a mega-millionaire – perhaps bazillionaire! There are already municipalities on standby ready to pilot it.

So, here’s the catch: I need about two million dollars to take it beyond the prototype currently developed. The hard architecture work is completed, but I need a team of programming, legal, and other specific homies to really get it rolling the way it needs to be. There is a non-disclosure agreement ready at the helm for any serious investors or companies that want to explore the opportunity.

And if any of you send in a ringer to steal the idea, technology, or methods – I will have to introduce you to the cool cat-like moves I’ve been learning from Guru Kurtis.

So, there it is. Calling all rich investors looking for the next social platform that takes us from Web 2.0 to Web 5.0. If anyone has Bill Gates’ number, you can reach me via invest (at) lawnstogardens.com

October 2, 2007 at 2:58 pm Leave a comment

How Would You Spend $150 Billion Dollars?

Money for war

Our intelligent money spenders in Congress are out to spend another $150 Billion dollars of our collective hard-earned money to keep paying contractors to shoot people in the Middle East.

My question is… instead of spending that money on continued warfare, how would you spend $150 Billion?

Things to consider:

- We have the technology to free ourselves from the needs of oil.
- We could create great paying jobs used to implement the technology used to free ourselves from oil

I’m open to suggestions.

October 2, 2007 at 12:57 pm 2 comments

Secrets To Making Money With Peak Oil

Secrets of How To Make Money With Peak Oil

Hear Ye, Hear Ye, there are ways thou shalt be able to maketh ends meet while the economy takes a crappeth on itself!

Know a Baby Boomer with a bank account?

Seriously. You might be able to siphon off of them for a bit longer while they can still muster the cash to fill their RVs and motor coaches with affordable fuel. After all, it’s the older crowd that has most of the money (resorts are full of them), while the younger crowd is starting to feel the burn of debt. No doubt hordes of twenty-somethings will be moving back in with mom and dad soon (if mom and dad still have a house). I don’t want to brow beat people anymore though. It’s too late for that… the crash is already happening, and the stage is set for some big event to fully usher in a completely totalitarian state. People didn’t have the backbone, temerity, or organizational skills to stop that from happening. That’s the power of TV entertainment for ya.

For those that tried, kudos to ya. It’s hard to spark change when even peaceful protesters are being shot and killed these days. But if people REALLY wanted to change the system, it could be done.

The problem is there is no leader able to break through to the world able to convince enough people that the world is everyone’s oyster to share. Everyone is clinging to what little pieces they think are theirs, which just goes to prove that there are lots and lots of people on the planet who think highly of themselves, controlled by a tiny percentage at the top. But now as the reality of Peak Oil really gets under way, we each have to think critically about ways to keep putting food on the table, making a living, and not getting desperate and turning to crime.

Here We Are
First comes economic pain – as we are seeing right now. Mortgage defaults, layoffs, and rising costs of living. Sales declines of all kinds are contributing to the recession, while some niche companies like survival goods are seeing spikes in sales. An ominous sign of things to come for sure.

It really is going to come down to coming to terms with reality, and making lemonade from the fact that your future may not be going according to plan. Life gets pretty scary when your monthly bills multiply like rabbits on E. Pressures will rise at work, and you might be coming home and taking it out on (Insert person or pet here). It might have been that new car you bought, or that massive mortgage. It could be the fact that you bought whatever advertisers made you and your friends think was cool, so everyone got the latest ‘thingamajig’ in different colors, with awesome add-on accessories to boot.

That’s what we’ll call “The Former Economy“. It’s all our collective fault, not any single person’s – so why not start making yourself more valuable? Now is as good a time as any to turn those useful skills you have into the ability to be happy while learning to live with less.

Can you farm?
Can you build or create useful things that help people?
Can you sell those useful things?

Now is the perfect time to learn new skills
You’ll need them. I sure see a lot of “For Sale” signs these days, and it’s only going to multiply (HINT: maybe you should wait to buy whatever you are planning on buying and get a killer deal later on.)

No matter what, remember that scarcity is a frame of mind. You still have much more than many other people, even if you have to downsize or you lose possessions. If you lose your job or your house, you are still alive and kicking enough to go earn an honest living, even if it means a temporary setback in your living standards. I’m just as vulnerable as you.

The best part about suffering is when you realize how awesome it is to redeem yourself and become a do-gooder.

Fun Bonus!
I’m always curious how people find “Lawns to Gardens”. Here are just a few search terms that have routed people to this Blog.

working jobs we hate so we can buy shit
safest place to be in nuclear war
amazing toilets
Peak Oil survival
Oil Shocks and economic collapse
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leadership
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war with Iran
end of the world
Paris Hilton sex
Paris Hilton blowjob

September 27, 2007 at 3:48 pm 3 comments

What The Housing Bubble, Stock Market Crash, And Gas Shortage Means For Advertising

Housing Busbble stock market crash gas shortage advertising

BOOM!

Here we go, folks. What all of us freakozoids have been warning about all along. You are bearing witness as the first turds pierce the blades of the fan as the proverbial shit hits it. The news reports keep spinning it that all is fine, and that the problems can be contained. I have been e-mailing back and forth with John Schoen of MSNBC about this for a while now, and he dismissed our conversation as speculative, writing:

It’s true that there are plenty of reasons for concern, and a number of things that could go very wrong. But, having done this for nearly 30 years, I’ve also seen a number of very plausible warnings of impending catastrophe come and go. That’s not to say they’re wrong. But when you talk about tearing the social fabric, you’re getting into Hollywood disaster scenario territory.

Well John, I’m standing by the claim that drastic emergency measures need to be taken to change course from a massive crash, especially if/when the US and Iran head into their Title Bout. I have a feeling we will swing first, even if we try to tell the judges they did.

But that is beyond the control of any single news journalist or Peak Oil / Advertising blogger. What I can tell you are the things happening in the world of Advertising.

Buyers are aware of price declines in big ticket items, so they are waiting to purchase
People who bought a house are willing to lose their deposit in order to save big money as home builders drop their prices. In other words, if the house hasn’t closed yet, people are dumping their contracts to “re-buy” the house at a new, lower adjusted price. After all, would you want to pay $400,000 for a house that is now worth $350,000? Or a car at $35,000 when you could wait and get it at $25,000? I didn’t think so.

This means businesses are going to take massive hits on profits
Some businesses are even willing to go into the red to make sales, just so they can hit their sales numbers. Eventually, heads are gonna roll in all categories: Managers, suppliers, worker bees, etc.

This means that recently laid off people will tighten their spending
And when people tighten their spending, those sales just keep on drying up like the Amazon. And when sales dry up, advertisers try all sorts of neat things like piling on incentives, blow out sales, and other gimmicks. What really matters is if the product/service you are selling is essential.

Pretty soon, top management dogs and middle managers are going to have to deal with the stinky reality of Peak Oil. It is appearing in many forms… a multi-headed hydra of a beast. Of course, the capitalists running the US can’t deal with reality like adults, so they want to go shoot people. I can understand the anger, but there are lots of understanding people out there to help deal with anger and self destruction, and maybe our politicians and business leaders should sign up for some classes.

I’m offering one, since I just quit my job working for Clear Channel. I’m flattered the company is proud of my work, and I have fully enjoyed my tenure there. Working in Corporate America certainly hardens your skin for the real world of cut throat business, and many people are genuinely nice and don’t mean any direct harm to the planet. But we all suck-suck-suck away at the earth every time we buy something, and advertising is engineered to help convince you to buy something. (Hypocrite alert: Yes, I buy things).

What we are facing is entropy, the 4th Law of Thermodynamics, and the world’s most historical case of “What goes up must come down”. No amount of “Sex in Advertising” is going to fix this one, kids. (Unless what you are advertising IS sex, which I anticipate will happen as people grow desperate for food). The only thing I’m not sure about is how long it will be before a person can get a handjob for a carrot.

Now enjoy this video.

September 7, 2007 at 10:43 am 8 comments

The State of Advertising as The Dollar and the Global Economy Crashes

Peak Oil Advertising And Marketing Advice and Expertise

If your job requires an opening line that goes something like this, you are in trouble:

“Hi, may I speak with whoever handles your marketing or advertising?”

I’ve written on this subject before, but since the economy is melting before our eyes, I wanted to take the time to repost what I wrote about advertising during times of Peak Oil. I can tell you as of August 14th, 2007 – the heads are about to start rolling in media (Hey all you AD AGE editors… I’m open for interviews!)

But here’s the gist: It’s all about ROI, measured results for clients, and what people are buying. Specialty dog sweater shops are going bye-bye, as are a lot of businesses that didn’t have the foresight to adapt in time. It’s not that your advertising isn’t working… it’s just that the whole system isn’t working, and if you aren’t bringing in big money for the corporation, you too will soon find out what the term ‘unemployed’ means.

All of you new hires at TV, radio, newspapers and even Internet companies had better be bringing along a network of business associates that you can count on, because cold calling won’t work anymore.

I’ve tried to get my company to take evasive action, but they didn’t listen, along with the many other marketing managers who looked at me crazy when I told them what to do. For the record:

– I told car dealers to stop ordering so many cars, and to open up small-scale alcohol fuel distilleries while they still had money. They looked at me like I was crazy.

Dollar, gas, and oil crash

– I told home builders to not build houses on all the land they purchased, rather leave some of the land to build a small-scale fuel facility for their residents, who could cooperatively own it and work with local farmers for the feedstocks. They should also leave some land for hydroponic food generation stations and small community garden parcels. They said “Good idea, we’ll wait to see if other home builders start doing it”.

- I told book sellers to stock up on gardening books

- I told restaurants to start composting systems

I told a lot of businesses to do a lot of things to prepare.

So I guess I’m telling you again, while you still have money in the bank – SPEND IT NOW, AND SPEND IT ON THE RIGHT STUFF!!!

And don’t forget, the right stuff includes me… your friendly Peak Oil Advertising and Marketing Expert! I can help you make the right business decisions while you still have time.

And as always… start growing food at home :)

August 14, 2007 at 4:14 pm 1 comment

Republicans Block Efforts To Stop America From Driving Off A Cliff

America Drives Off A Cliff

Well America, there you have it.

Even with the Democrats’ “Too Little, Too Late” efforts to pour money into renewable energy, Republicans have chosen to slice Lady Liberty’s throat. Note: Republicans said this energy bill ’tilted too far in favor of renewables and conservation at the expense of the oil companies’.

“When you put a tax on a business it gets passed on to consumers,” argued Sen. Jon Kyl, R-Arizona. “Instead of reducing gasoline prices, this bill is going to add to the cost of gasoline.”

You are on record with that one, buddy. I can only wonder what the collective gas mileage will be for Americans who eventually end up surrounding Washington with pitchforks and torches.

June 21, 2007 at 3:13 pm 3 comments

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