Railer – Live In Portland

We encourage ride-sharing, walking, bike-riding, or public transit to / from our shows! Join up with other Railer fans at www.portland.brightneighbor.com.

On the Behavior of Staying and Keeping Warm

What is more evil:

A) Running your heating source (gas, electric, oil, etc.) at full blast at the future expense of other humans
B) Asking for assistance once you have exhausted all of your own resources?

Are either evil at all?

Are you here, do you really exist?
Why does blood flow from open flesh?
Will we actually be able to stop the planet from toasting us right off the surface?
Will we destroy ourselves with nuclear devastation and religious wars?
Is nuclear war carbon negative or carbon positive?
Will children starve to death because their parents are out of work?
Will hard working people lose their homes because of government and financial services greed?
Will people start to take part in the creation of food, not just the eating of it?
Will people voluntarily wear a warm bathrobe instead of turning on their heat?

These are some samples of the thoughts I have wondered about this morning. And these thoughts of course become explorations themselves, as we question our existence and how we will possibly feed so many people as the economies of the world collapse.

After all, people would rather play video games and sell “thin air” than get out and work the soil. But what choice do we have? The government can’t hand out welfare checks and food stamps forever, there are too many people taking and not enough people putting back in. That means there is an imbalance in the force, young Luke.

So how do we counter that imbalance?

It seems people are waking up to our desperate situation.This is when strong leaders are needed, and people need to support their leaders. George Washington would have lost the Revolutionary War against the British if France hadn’t come to his aid to help him pay his troops. Of course, he hung his troops for not showing up to work… at least these days you just get fired.

Yes, we have become a nation of pansies, crying like babies for handouts from Mom and Dad government and the generosity of people who love us. Or some kind, random stranger who helps you out because it is the right thing to do. However you survive, the question still remains:

Do you wear a bathrobe, or blast the heat?

I am in a bathrobe in my freezing ass house, and I wish I could blast the heat. But it’s not the right thing to do. Brrrrrrr.

How To Have A Green Christmas

My wife suggested that we buy a living Christmas tree in a pot this year and plant it after the holiday. “Woo hoo!” I thought – what a great topic to write about on Lawns to Gardens.

So I Googled “Green Christmas” and it seems Newsweek beat me to the punch while also adding many more ideas. So, I encourage you to read their Eco-Christmas article instead.

PS - Instead of tinsel, buying silver coins not only doubles as a great gift, but they could go up in value as the US Economy plummets.

Eco-Etiquette And The New Rules Of Living On Earth

The other night I found myself at a friend’s house and I had a dilemma.

Should I flush my pee, or would the owner of the house mind if I let it mellow? I asked him if it was okay, and he told me he wasn’t cool with it. So I made the yellow go bye-bye.

It made me realize that we are living in a time of behavioral transition. After all, many people are making changes in the way they live and consume. I know people who own composting toilets. But what happens when your lifestyle values are not present in a systemic form at other places you go?

Sure, I turn off the water when I brush my teeth and I re-use my ziplock bags until they fall apart. But what about when one ventures from one’s own nest? Here are some examples of asking questions of others:

If I need to throw something away at a friend’s house:
– Do you compost?
– Where is your recycling?
– Can I let it mellow?

At Restaurants:
– Do you compost? (The answer is always no. That’s a problem)
– Where is your recycling?
– Where is your restroom? (This is less personal, so I don’t flush when I urinate, but I do wash my hands.)

You get the idea. As more and more people understand that they must be part of the changes we need to make to save the planet, there are bound to be awkward moments. But by having the courage to live with your eco-convictions, you can help others learn to behave.

I just wish our country’s leaders had a personal coach.

The Sexual Politics of Overpopulation

Alright, let’s get to it.

There are too many of us on planet earth to live the way we do, and no US Presidential candidate has the balls to talk about addressing overpopulation. They are busy with G rated “religion” conversations in an R rated world.
Take away the suits, and we are just monkeys with missiles. So how can the US and the world address the issue when our country is so sexually repressed?

You and I are animals that seek health and the preservation of life. We like food. Sleep. Money and the things money can buy. Life after death (for believers). The well being of our children. A feeling of importance. And sexual gratification.

No matter what your religion or sense of values, it feels good when your netherbits get tickled. I feel this is relevant to Peak Oil in that we are at the peak of population, right before some nasty things start happening as modern thinking meets the 4th Law of Thermodynamics.

While there is nothing sexy about entropy, we should keep that in mind the world now has a virtual sex machine called the Internet. Sex crimes decrease since people can find whatever they are looking for online (A 10 percent increase in Net access yields about a 7.3 percent decrease in reported rapes).

Normal people, either as couples or singles, seek sexual experiences from the magical sex box. It’s world wide, from India to Iraq to wherever. I’ll bet there are Taliban fighters whacking off in Wi-Fi enabled caves somewhere.

The point is that we are at the point with peak oil where the Zero Sum game starts to have definite losers. Right now it is starting in the poorest countries, and people are dying. Food prices will only continue to rise, and if the Ice Shelf slips into the ocean we are all fucked, no matter how many carbon credits you buy.

As long as we continue to breed and developing countries try to keep up with the Joneses (the West), we will continue to witness a decline in living conditions. As long as we continue to be prudish and deny that we are sexual monkeys, there will be fighting over the remaining bananas.

You may think I’m trying to be funny. I’m not. As the economic collapse speeds up and more people are in their own personal dire straights, they will be freaked out and depressed. Attitude is key now as things get bad.

I believe we are entering a period of time when an intervention is needed and social programs will become overwhelmed. This Thanksgiving, food banks reported huge drops in inventory and the ability to help feed people.

Hungry, desperate people are no joke. But somehow through despair, sex always breaks through, and no matter what you have been told, God won’t get mad if you take care of your needs. Do whatever you have to do to keep up a good attitude and stay positive.

It’s about to become a very rough ride.

Peak Oil And Global Warming Kicks Beer Drinkers In The Mouth

Beer drinkers on high alert! Peak oil has arrived, and it is taking away your cheap beer.

Now, now – I know that Russia’s President has compared the current Missile crisis to that of the Cuban Missile Crisis, but let’s not get too bent out of shape over Nuclear Armageddon just yet. The Fucking price of BEER is going to skyrocket? What!? Are you SERIOUS?!

“I’m guessing, at a minimum, at least a 10 percent jump in beer prices for the average consumer before the end of the year,” said Terry Butler, brewmaster at central Washington’s Snipes Mountain. Fuel, aluminum and glass prices have been going up quickly over a period of several years. (Don’t let the media convince you that ethanol is to blame for food price increases either. That load of crap has been completely debunked by David Blume.)

I absolutely have had enough. No more of this. The fuel revolution must come right now. We cannot let the price of fuel continue to oppress our access to fine, tasty microbrews, or even that cheap piss-water sold to us by the Beer Barons of the world.

No siree. I have had ENOUGH. The lack of quick global action to offset the impacts of Peak Oil must end right now. SAVE OUR BEER!

Survivalism Gets Old Real Fast

Dear America,

I just returned from a week of traveling your many roads, camping in your beautiful woods, and perusing your many small towns. On one end of the extreme, I slept in an emergency cabin made for stranded hunters in the woods. No electricity, running water, or even a lock on the door. On the other end… I also stayed in nicely furnished cabins with a shower and a cooking stove.

Let me tell you, survivalism gets old within the first few days. And admittedly, I’m not boasting I did anything other than go camping. I even went camping pre-loaded with food and water, a hunting knife and lots of good books. I rented a Jeep that was easily refueled at the many gas stations along the way to and from the woods. I was redirected from a 50,000 acre forest fire by helpful rangers. That may not be survivalism for you back-wooders, but for a city boy, it’s a whole new world.

What it means is that I faked survivalism and fled the city with the best of plans. But here’s what I learned along the way:

– You need ice for your cooler at least every two days if your perishables aren’t to perish
– If there are shortages of gas, you may not be able to flee farther than a couple hundred miles from your present location
– Spilling lamp oil inside your vehicle makes breathing super fun
– Invest in Coleman stoves and propane while you can
– Trees and rocks DO fall in front of you on back mountain roads
– Small town economies want your money but they don’t want you
– Headlamps Headlamps Headlamps
– Freeways suck until you need them
– Knowing martial arts is wise
– Poachers like to ride in back of trucks to hunt deer at night

I could go on, but the ultimate lesson is that even if there was some sort of massive energy crash, running from your home won’t matter for very long. Being on edge and distrusting anyone who rolls by your camp as a potential adversary truly sucks. Also, Unless you already live in a small, self-sustaining community that would band together to keep out the droves of people fleeing the city, you may be turned away from their road blocks. Or road pirates could easily pick you off from any of the roads you travel.

All in all, it comes down to people doing what’s best for themselves and their families as we head off the energy cliff. And since everyone is so underprepared for any kind of immediate crash, it would probably be a bloody mess after just a week or so, no matter where you are. People have to eat and drink to live, period. So, while I do my best to kick start more localization of economies, I guess I’m going to go have to also build an ark and learn some kung-fu.

My hope is that we have time for a transition.

When Peak Oil Rips At Your Soul

If you are peak oil/earth destruction aware, I have to wonder how your relationships are going – with your family, friends, co-workers, just about everyone. Are you losing friends because you want to help stop the world from destroying itself? Are you an outcast because you realize our way of living is quickly taking us to oblivion?

I went for a long walk with my wife yesterday, and our discussion highlighted the soul-tearing realities of two different people’s perspectives on how we are supposed to live on this planet we call earth.

I would say my wife is an average Portlander. She recycles as much as she can, loves the farmers market, and wants a biodiesel vehicle. Her perspective on life is that we must live while we can, enjoy the moment, and do our part to be good citizens.

While that sounds good in theory, here are some challenges we are facing as a couple living on the cusp of earth’s cosmic conundrum. She’s talking about bringing a baby into this world while I believe I have a case in saying there are too many people on the planet as it is. I don’t know how much more black and white I can make it out to be… this is the issue of this generation’s lifetime.

After all – it’s perfectly natural for a woman in her late twenties to want to procreate. That biological urge is hardwired into our netherbits, and we are a species that likes to get it on. The problem is that humans have been easily popping out kids around the world because food has been readily available via oil, supermarkets, Taco Bell, and aid programs.

Because I think in abstract terms, I do little things like plug up the shower to gauge how much water I’m using to clean my body, then wonder what ways I could make use of the pool of liquid that normally just washes away down the drain. My wife, on the other hand, thinks in terms of me cleaning the shower tiles and sealing the small crack that’s growing some weird colored thing out of it.

I think in terms of us hanging a clothesline to dry our clothes, she thinks in terms of getting a more energy efficient dryer.

I could go on and on with this stuff, but here is the wall I’m banging my head into: I would love to be a father some day. It would be cool to teach a little rug rat how to play a synthesizer, grow carrots and learn to ride a bamboo bike.

My issue is that the exponential growth of the human population has already placed the future of that unborn child in dire danger – the danger we all live in at this very moment in time. Sure, multiple generations have lived with the threat of nuclear war, but it’s different now. It’s not just two Superpowers with them – the technology has spread around the world as we have bred and bred – and now we’re running out of the very juice that has sustained all those fast food outlets many people depend on for food. As the energy crash continues, I just can’t believe it will occur without big fights, from nations to neighbors. Not unless we change our living habits.

So there it is – it’s pretty simple. She gets a baby, or we get a divorce. She hasn’t said that, but it’s implied. She will get her way (doesn’t every wife?), or it won’t work out. I can only make my case for so long before the friction would be overpowering – and I love her immensely.

So what’s a guy to do? I don’t want to part ways – but how am I supposed to make a logical case against a woman’s powerful biological urge? It’s not like most couples have had a “Peak Oil” chat before they got married.

I can’t be alone in this situation. The question is – as humans realize we have overpopulated the planet – can there be a transition to livable communities that relocalize and sustain themselves? Even if people in Arizona threw up enough solar panels to power themselves, they will eventually run out of water and need to relocate. So will people in Africa and elsewhere as the planet overheats.

Now don’t get me wrong – I think we can do it if everyone would just agree we are at this point and put down the guns so we can address racism, classism and property rights. Because as much as I’m willing to open up our home to have roomates, my wife enjoys our privacy.

I can only wonder how long that luxury will be a choice (here’s a nifty classroom tool on population crashes. Do your homework kids). The question is… Are we smarter than Thermal Dynamics?.

America Is Full of Poo

Hey America, let’s put our poop to good use!

The EPA estimates that each year, one billion gallons of raw sewage are dumped into U.S. waters. That is 3000 gallons for each person in the United States. Composting toilets could conserve water and change this hazard into a valuable resource.

Just imagine all the freshwater we can save if we could get over the idea we all need a fancy porcelain crapper. Once we get over the “eewwwwwwwww” factor, we’ll see that there are ways to work with nature to make home made fertilizer. We can even go so far as two have a two-bucket poo-poo system:

Needed: Two buckets, a toilet seat, woodchips

1) Put toilet seat on bucket #1
2) Put woodchips in bucket # 2

Do your thing in bucket #1, and cover with woodchips. Wipe yer bum with strips of newspaper (much of what is reported is worthwhile of such use anyway, no?)

By the way… I am no angel. I’ve told my wife this is my next move and she promptly told me she will have no part of it. Methinks that transitioning to a culture that doesn’t trash the earth will take a lot more convincing, and bringing home a bouquet of flowers with a composting toilet isn’t something she’s quite ready to receive yet.

And that’s crappy.

Dear America,