Archive for April, 2007

The United States’ Last Hurrah


We have associated the phrase with United States domination for so long, it seems. And now we have to deal with the fact we’re no longer king of the mountain. If you seriously gauge the national health of the United States, we peaked in the 70’s and it’s our national attachment to trying to hang on to our “Kings of the world” entitlement that is causing a whole lot of trouble throughout the globe.

But ain’t that just the way it goes with Americans, and possibly any “leading” nation??

Hugo Chavez just made headlines with the statment “We demand that the North American empire respect the Iranian people and the peoples of the world,” on “Hello President,” his TV and radio program. “The only country that has developed atomic bombs and dropped them on entire peoples is the North American empire. … They don’t have the morality to be giving anybody lessons.”

My thought on this is that energy greedy nations on top want to stay on top, to grow, to expand. It’s all energy man. We are all just different heads of the human life hydra, all connected as one species but still different competing energies are constantly vying to eat every last morsel of life sustaining systems on earth until we extinguish the ability to exist.

The problem is that we’ve never death with our collective extinction before and we don’t know how to handle it. I think you can only really learn from something when it happens at a level of the self. Think of it like this: Once you learn that binge drinking makes you yearn for death the next morning, you LEARN from it.

And in the US, we are used to the story of easy living and cheap energy. In our country, the majority of workers now live off the discretionary income of other Americans, which will of course change with higher energy prices. It basically means many more people won’t be able to afford to live, period.

Sure, most people think we are are to keep on binge drinking forever, and the morning is fast catching up with us. For our hangover, we don’t yet have a “Our country fell apart when the oil stopped flowing” or “We nuked ourselves into oblivion” story yet. The closest we have come to the oil story is the OPEC embargo of the 70’s. Considering needs beyond oil, we don’t have a “we killed all the bees and ate up all the fish” story yet. But, we have a known history that shows how a similar story goes.


And beyond America, extending to all nations – we haven’t seen our species completely humbled yet, so we’re still walking around as ignoramuses unable to learn from our colossal mistakes of unsustainable population levels and vying for domination of earth’s life systems.

And that’s where we are today as Americans. We are poised to lose control, and we are not ready. As humans, people will be scared, but as Americans, we can continue on in a world with less “stuff” to “help” our lives. For instance, clothes dryers are a huge CO2 contributor. When electricity prices shoot through the roof, people are going to think they are fucked. But, I know of a secret cool solar clothes dryer called a “clothesline” that my grandmother used to use. It worked AWESOME, all she needed to do was have some clothes pins and a sunny day to not contribute to global warming or use electricity.

And so there are lots of ways to live WITHOUT things, and it doesn’t mean the end of the world. Just that particular world, that’s all. And it doesn’t have to be a “Last Hurrah” as much as a breathe of fresh air at the challenge of jumping into something new, possibly at the level of “community survival”. So work hard to grow food at home, and have the best time you can!


April 15, 2007 at 8:42 pm 1 comment

The Future Is Defective.


So I wrote this little poem in 2003 when the realdealnomics of Peak Oil kicked me in the groin, I was pissed and without solutions. Things have changed and the world looks bright ahead, so here I post “The Future is Defective” for your entertainment. BONUS FOR GEEKS! You can download an audio version of this Poem here.

Oil, is running out.
it’s the bottom of the barrell and the barrell’s bottomed out.
’cause the Countdown started and in just a few years
it’s going to collapse -and we can’t shed tears
or the pointing of our fingers for the world that we’ve created
driving round in SUVs and and walking round sedated
while we do nothing to stop and change
Oil controls the future and past.
it’s running out, and supplies won’t last,
It’s the cause of war, and it fuels your car
it’ll kill us all, and it seems so far away –
But here’s some news for you
you think it’s just chance that Bush 1 and Bush 2
have jockeyed and lobbied to keep the world on fire?
Supply and demand of our own desires
are the downfall
that no one will talk about
all the news shows is flags and how proud you should be
well they don’t get to me
I can see through the “be all you can be”
because there’s no way to stop the machine that we are
Not with 15 miles per gallon per car
supply may decline but demand is a constant
we could turn it around – but how much do we want it?
I’m painting a picture that you don’t want to see
but if you’ll just pause a moment and listen to me –
We can can face this truth together, stop the aggression
or none of us will be around to say we learned the lesson

Oil, is running out.
it’s the bottom of the barrell and the barrell’s bottomed out.
’cause the Countdown started and in just a few years
it’s going to collapse -and we can’t shed tears
or the pointing of our fingers for the world that we’ve created
driving round in SUVs and and walking round sedated
while we do nothing to stop and change

As supply declines, you know that prices rise
Everybody knows that –
it’s no surprise that most of life has it’s ties to oil
whether pumping gas or turning soil
we’ve built a model that can’t be changed
unless we give up our ways and thats deranged-
so with bills to pay and mouths to feed
we’re all too damn distracted
and that is why the earth will die
cause ‘we hassled those that acted
arrested those that tried
to show you that a protest is good
that the person who got maced for you was like robin hood
But we don’t want to think about the truth beyond the lies
what television show us – wool on our eyes
It’s the Special interest needs and the money and the greed
While you think about your kids in Sunday’s little league
Well imagine when the gas runs out – all the world goes dark
no food to eat – no shipping fleets and chaos makes it’s mark

Oil, is running out.
it’s the bottom of the barrell and the barrell’s bottomed out.
’cause the Countdown started and in just a few years
it’s going to collapse -and we can’t shed tears
or the pointing of our fingers for the world that we’ve created
driving round in SUVs and and walking round sedated
while we do nothing to stop and change

If you think that I’m just spouting fear, or smoking a bunch of crack
I say to you I wish this was a prank but there’s no going back
not without a change from everyone, and a redesign of cities
we need massive efforts, or it’s looking shitty
cause the whole world is on a suicide mission
and it won’t change with career politicians in control
so fuck the news and fuck the polls
and fuck the the tanks and fuck the old way of thinking
this isn’t right wing or left wing, it’s about saving ourselves
not Santa and his Elves
cause ‘here’s what you should know:
There is no solution
and I don’t have a plan
But I see is revolution
and a finger for the ‘man’
cause they keep sending kids to die
citing security to support their lies
What we need now is less dependence and security and greed
to be brave and understand the enemy’s needs
why some people strap explosives to their chests
it’s not about who’s religion is best
we’re a species that’s been into space
Are you tellin’ me we can’t save this place?
from explosions and whatever sells commercials
ratings and advertisers stop what’s controversial
well how bout rejecting the stock holding elected?
and not the way Termininator got selected
While profits are key and jobs are needed
it’s hard to take a stand
I understand a mortgage payment
and don’t have the master plan
But I know that energy, and policy – without a fresh perspective
is undoubtedly the downfall of us all – cause the future is defective

April 12, 2007 at 11:14 pm Leave a comment

Mr. Vonnegut, we will fight on.

Goodbye Kurt. I hope your next existence is something trippy.


Some excerpts from a recent interview with a man who could cynically see the future:

KURT VONNEGUT: We’ve killed the planet, the life support system. And it’s so damaged that there’s no recovery from that. We’re very soon going to run out of petroleum which powers everything’s that modern-Razzmatazz about America.

After two World Wars and the holocaust and the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and after the Roman games and after the Spanish Inquisition and after burning witches, the public– shouldn’t we call it off? I mean, we are a disease and should be ashamed of ourselves.

And so, yeah, I think we ought to stop reproducing. But since we’re not going to do that, I think the planet’s immune system is trying to get rid of us.

DAVID BRANCACCIO: The planet is sort of trying to shed us as if we are some sort of toxin.

KURT VONNEGUT: Look, I’ll tell you. It’s one thing that no cabinet had ever had, is a Secretary Of The Future. And there are no plans at all for my grandchildren and my great grandchildren.

DAVID BRANCACCIO: That’s a great idea. In other words a Cabinet post–

KURT VONNEGUT: Well, it’s too late! Look, the game is over! The game is over. We’ve killed the planet, the life support system. And, and it’s so damaged that there’s no recovery from that. And we’re very soon going to run out of petroleum which powered everything that’s modern. Razzmatazz about America. And, and it was very shallow people who imagined that we could keep this up indefinitely. But when I tell others, they say; Well, look there’s– you said hydrogen fuel. Nobody’s working on it.

Here is the whole interview

April 12, 2007 at 8:12 am Leave a comment

Don’t Make Me Rip Off Your Style, Jetset

I happen to work for a very large media company. I also happen to believe that we can make culture changes to fix the world through web enabled info-tainment. That’s why I would like to give thanks to Zadi & the crew at Jetset for featuring Episode 1 of “Lawns to Gardens” in their show, which tickles my netherbits with positive messaging and professional production. I am prouder of this than when I made Al Franken Cry!

Al Right Before He Tears Up

Seriously, there are many many of us with something to say, and now we have a way to pull it off. Funny how Al Gore didn’t invent the Internet, but he sure is helping push an important message all around it. But he didn’t go far enough with the “How to” portion of his message.

Since I work in advertising, it’s my job to help people convince themselves they need something to better their lives
from point A onward. I believe once the creative cats get hip to the fact that the planet can’t sustain our activities any longer, we’ll start to see a lot more sex used to sell the “Green Market”. Seriously. Advertising is practically porno these days anyway. We practically see blowjobs used to sell crackers.

If we want truck drivers to make behavioral changes, we must show them how to save money, get more sex, and avoid dying. It’s the easily digestible quick tidbits in web video that can make a difference in the deliverables. If we intermingle celebrity gossip with in-your-face mortality and fart jokes, we might just get the needle moving backward.

That moment will come when people realize how cool it is to STOP BUYING THINGS. At least cheaply made imports. Feel free to buy things from your local businesses, but shit…. I just bought a bike and they were ALL made in China. (Any local Portland bike manufacturers that can hook me up in the $300 – $400 range? Call me.)

So let’s crank this sucker up folks! Soon I will be revealing to you the ultimate plan for freeing ourselves from many of the challenges of global frying, oil addiction, species extinction and many more “Oh Crapola” subjects. I’m not messing with you, I wouldn’t do that. I have access to the ultimate “How To Save The World” guide that has the proof behind it, but it will take everyone’s help to pull it off.

I am in the middle of writing the book review right now, and the good news is coming soon 🙂

April 11, 2007 at 4:05 pm Leave a comment

Is Nature or God Kicking Us Off The Earth?

Awwwww, shit. We may have screwed up too much.

The way I see it at this point, is that we are gonna snap soon. Too many people fighting for the last slice of pizza. I wonder if we the people of earth don’t actually blow ourselves to Kingdom come, and we manage to somehow work out our differences… is there enough energy in the world to sustain life on this planet? Is there enough life left on earth to hold the people in it? Has earth already turned into hell? Man, the good part of the ride never seems to last long enough.

So as the world goes to complete shit, I want to believe that the world is basically a good place, to be used wisely by humanity, to be treasured, where people can equally rejoice in life. I want to believe that as we live together, we develop as human beings, not by forsaking the world, but by cooperating with nature and each other to preserve and perfect it, respecting the environment while we’re ecologically responsible.

I want to believe that you and I are different expressions of the same life on earth, and whatever good or bad happens to either of us happens to both of us—our well-being is linked. We are all in this together, and if you help your neighbor, you thereby help yourself.

I believe disharmony and evil are the result of ignorance and selfishness: live in harmony and goodness so as to teach others by your life as well as by your words.

But I also believe that we are all imperfect, and there are always chances to redeem your sense of self worth, and pour into a noble cause of:

1) Peace first – the world needs a time out, without Religion involved. We need to stop the shouting and make a business case for peace. Peace has to work for everyone, or it won’t work, you dig?

2) Recognition that we have way too many weapons in the hands of way too many people that have way too many problems with one another for stability or survival to work at this point. Someone’s gonna make a stupid.

3) Finding the ways we can work together to solve our differences so we can establish a power-down program. The rich need to come clean, and help contribute to the whole of society right now. Our well-being is linked, and even you will go extinct unless you start helping fix the problems of energy hoarding and violence.

So it’s coming down to the wire, folks. I’m trying to do the best I can. I’m trying to dump energy and learn ways to live with less of a footprint. But even if you buy local, ride a bike, carpool, ride a scooter, grow your own food at home, turn out the lights, unplug your appliances and insulate your house… you are still stuck.

All of society is built around energy including oil, natural gas, nuclear and other planetary wonders. I mean, this stuff has allowed us to power our society to levels never imagined. We have learned and learned and learned and we’ve been sex-hungry little monkeys and have fed and bred, and now look at us.

Holy SHIT there are a lot of the people on this planet! I mean, TONS! This place is damn full man! We’re running out of shit! OIl, it’s all the fucking way across the world man! And we NEED that stuff… is our country so fucking STUPID we can’t see that we need to switch brands to something else… like complete renewable energy?

We need to ban incandescent light bulbs! We need to institute communications programs across the entire United States right now to prepare people for the shock of their lives! This is going to be traumatic, folks! And as shitty as it gets, you had better learn to smile, because it doesn’t get better from here. In fact, many people you know and love will probably die, and so will you.

If you start acting like a good little human being from now on and do your part to help other people, no matter what their sex, social status, color, race or favorite porn site is – you had better be ready to help others when the shit hits the fan – which is right about now.

Something’s gonna give, and you had better be prepared… because the earth is starting to kill us.

April 9, 2007 at 10:08 pm 1 comment

Present Real Estate Crash Plotted As A Historical Rollercoaster


April 9, 2007 at 6:28 pm Leave a comment

Tasty Dumpster Food Is Finger Lickin’ Good.

I’m not quite to this level yet. I would be though if I was still living single with others while in college. As of right now, my wife is too entrenched with modern culture to entertain braving a dumpster.

April 4, 2007 at 4:01 pm Leave a comment

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